Losing a Middle-Schooler and Finding Happiness...Day 13

This morning when I weighed in (as I do every morning) I was 8.2 lbs down from my start weight of 219.7. When you have 50-75 lbs to lose, 8 lbs generally seems insignificant.  As I went about my morning routine, I checked the mirror.  Did I look different?  Well...not really.  Did I feel different?  Maybe a little but that's likely less about losing and more about eating less and better food for my body.

I realized, though, that it isn't insignificant.  It' a start... It's forward momentum.  Heck, it's a tiny human.  My babies were not much bigger than 8.2 lbs.  Many viable babies are much less than that.

Basically in the end, I need to lose a middle school kid.  My daughter is close to 70 lbs and it blows my mind that I have that much extra weight on my body...that I am basically carrying another human around all the time. No wonder I am tired, unmotivated, achy.  If I tried to carry my child from the car to the house it will likely be impossible, yet I carry that much around with me every step I take.  Mind...blown...

I'm done being in THAT place.  I'm done dragging around dead weight.  My goal for this year is to find my happiness.  That partly depends on weight loss and yes, part of it is vanity.  I want to feel good about the way I look. But more than that, I want to be able to enjoy my life in a way you can't when you're dragging around 50 extra pounds. I want to walk with ease...maybe even run...without the feeling that I may hyperventilate.  I want to sit on the floor and get up with out having to hoist myself.  I want to shop in a normal store and not be limited to only a few plus size stores.  I want to have the energy to do other things...hobby-type things.

Yes, this year I want to find my happiness again. And I want it to be about ME.