Anyway, today, as I was standing in line at Marshall's waiting to pay, I could hear a young couple behind me in conversation. They had obviously just purchased a house and were laughing and talking about inspections and painting. It was so ordinary but at the same time it was mesmerizing and heart breaking. Mr. Dub and I don't talk like that and we certainly don't laugh like that. We are tense and quiet and...different. We don't have the easy familiarity that a couple should have after 20 years together. Even scarier, I don't really remember ever having that with him. Maybe we did and it's just been so long ago that I've forgotten it? That couple behind me, they were friends. They talked like I would talk with my BFF. Mr. Dub and I are not BFF's. There are certain subjects we can talk about that way but mostly, we don't communicate. It's simpler that way. If we don't talk, we typically don't argue. And honestly, I'm usually way to snarky with him to have a real conversation, assuming that's even possible. Is that what it comes down to after so many years or is it just another symptom of how broken we are? I'm pretty sure I know the answer...
No comments:
Post a Comment