What's Your Excuse?

I saw a video on Facebook today about a disabled veteran who, because of his injuries, was told he would never walk unassisted again. Due to his inactivity, he gained weight and basically gave up.  Because he couldn't walk, many fitness instructors and trainers refused to work with him.  I can only imagine what I would do in his position.  Wallow in self pity?  Concede to be a victim until the day I die?  Who knows.

Do you know what he did?  He got a yoga dvd and he worked out at home.  He fell down (literally) over and over again, but instead of staying down, he rose up.  The man couldn't take one step on his own without his crutches/walkers but he got a mat and a chair and he found a way to work out.  Long story short, he made it happen.  He lost the weight, he strengthened his body and now he runs.  Not walks, but runs.

I cried watching the video.  It touched my heart.  It was entitled "What's Your Excuse?" and as it ended I realized that if this man didn't have an excuse, surely neither do I. I've eaten myself to obesity.  I've limited what I can do in this life. I've 'lazied' my way into big girl territory and I'm sick and tired of it.

I said in a previous post I wasn't ready to commit, but today, I am.  Not to a specific diet or workout regimen but to a better life and a better version of me.  I want to be healthier and happier.  I want to be responsible for my own happiness, without giving that power to someone else.   So today I commit to setting goals and making changes.  I commit to rising up.  Will you join me?

Goals for this week...

• Begin logging in My Fitness Pal
• Begin to move everyday (walk at lunch or walk in the evening)
• Begin to make small changes to my diet (more fruits and veggies, less carbs, cleaner eating)
• Pack lunchs
• Plan ahead

Weight Loss On My Mind

Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about weight loss.  I  think this began when I stumbled upon a new post on a blog I used to read. (Victorious Eating, Thinking and Weightloss)  The young woman had set out to lose 100 lbs in a year.  She ended up losing way more than that (even though it took her 4 yrs) and she regained control of her life and her relationship with food.  

Just so you understand where I’m coming from, I grew up very thin (‘rail thin’ is how my momma referred to it). I was the child of an obese mother who also used to be ‘rail thin’.  When I was married at 23, I weighed in a whopping 125 lbs. Twenty years and 2 babies later, I am almost 100 lbs heavier weighing in at 219 lbs.

Sometime I don’t feel ‘that fat’ and sometimes I am mortified at my current size.. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that it affects most every area of my life.  My work life, my home life, my sex life, etc.  There are things I can’t wear, things I can’t do, etc.  I feel the effects on my body,.  My knees ache and sometimes my back does too.  Going up and down the stairs is a chore some days.  I can’t run and play with my puppy like I should because I might fall and hurt myself. Lately my body just feels...heavy.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food, of that I am sure.  On some level I am lucky because some members of my family have full blown, life altering eating disorders.  I have disordered eating, but not to the point of anorexia or bulemia….I just like to eat...a lot. When I am (fill in the blank), food makes me feel better.  It could be mad, sad, happy, glad, depressed, anxious, etc.  It gives me joy that I don’t always find in other parts of my life.

Which brings me to my current thought process….

I wonder if, my less than happy marriage is what sends me running to food for comfort?

Mind you, I’m not necessarily blaming the marriage