Project 365 - Days 1 and 2

So I officially set about to changing my life yesterday, Sunday, February 23.  All in all it was a great day. I was up early, planning meals, clipping coupons and kind of making a plan. Life was good!

I tentatively set my calorie goal at 2000/day.  I doubt that will have me losing weight for very long but, it's better than what I had been eating (who knows how many calories that was).  I think baby stepping down might make the transition easier deal with.

Sunday:
Calorie goal - 2000
Intake - 1909
Deficit - 239 :-)

Food:
B - Vitatop muffin with coffee
L - Ham and Swiss Bagel
D - 2 Beefy 5 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell
S - Starbucks Mocha

Walked across the neighborhood and back. (about 30 mins)

Monday:

Today was a great day.  I came in way below my calorie goal and I wasn't even hungry!  I felt really good!

Goal - 2000
Intake - 1393
Deficit - 607

B - Vitatop with coffee
L - Mexican ground chicken with black beans
    - Banana yogurt
D - Grilled Chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, brown rice

No excercise. :(

And since I am falling asleep in my chair typing, I'll say goodbye and goodnight.

What's Your Excuse?

I saw a video on Facebook today about a disabled veteran who, because of his injuries, was told he would never walk unassisted again. Due to his inactivity, he gained weight and basically gave up.  Because he couldn't walk, many fitness instructors and trainers refused to work with him.  I can only imagine what I would do in his position.  Wallow in self pity?  Concede to be a victim until the day I die?  Who knows.

Do you know what he did?  He got a yoga dvd and he worked out at home.  He fell down (literally) over and over again, but instead of staying down, he rose up.  The man couldn't take one step on his own without his crutches/walkers but he got a mat and a chair and he found a way to work out.  Long story short, he made it happen.  He lost the weight, he strengthened his body and now he runs.  Not walks, but runs.

I cried watching the video.  It touched my heart.  It was entitled "What's Your Excuse?" and as it ended I realized that if this man didn't have an excuse, surely neither do I. I've eaten myself to obesity.  I've limited what I can do in this life. I've 'lazied' my way into big girl territory and I'm sick and tired of it.

I said in a previous post I wasn't ready to commit, but today, I am.  Not to a specific diet or workout regimen but to a better life and a better version of me.  I want to be healthier and happier.  I want to be responsible for my own happiness, without giving that power to someone else.   So today I commit to setting goals and making changes.  I commit to rising up.  Will you join me?

Goals for this week...

• Begin logging in My Fitness Pal
• Begin to move everyday (walk at lunch or walk in the evening)
• Begin to make small changes to my diet (more fruits and veggies, less carbs, cleaner eating)
• Pack lunchs
• Plan ahead

Weight Loss On My Mind

Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about weight loss.  I  think this began when I stumbled upon a new post on a blog I used to read. (Victorious Eating, Thinking and Weightloss)  The young woman had set out to lose 100 lbs in a year.  She ended up losing way more than that (even though it took her 4 yrs) and she regained control of her life and her relationship with food.  

Just so you understand where I’m coming from, I grew up very thin (‘rail thin’ is how my momma referred to it). I was the child of an obese mother who also used to be ‘rail thin’.  When I was married at 23, I weighed in a whopping 125 lbs. Twenty years and 2 babies later, I am almost 100 lbs heavier weighing in at 219 lbs.

Sometime I don’t feel ‘that fat’ and sometimes I am mortified at my current size.. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that it affects most every area of my life.  My work life, my home life, my sex life, etc.  There are things I can’t wear, things I can’t do, etc.  I feel the effects on my body,.  My knees ache and sometimes my back does too.  Going up and down the stairs is a chore some days.  I can’t run and play with my puppy like I should because I might fall and hurt myself. Lately my body just feels...heavy.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food, of that I am sure.  On some level I am lucky because some members of my family have full blown, life altering eating disorders.  I have disordered eating, but not to the point of anorexia or bulemia….I just like to eat...a lot. When I am (fill in the blank), food makes me feel better.  It could be mad, sad, happy, glad, depressed, anxious, etc.  It gives me joy that I don’t always find in other parts of my life.

Which brings me to my current thought process….

I wonder if, my less than happy marriage is what sends me running to food for comfort?

Mind you, I’m not necessarily blaming the marriage

Ina Garten's Chicken Pot Pie

Every year we go on a beach trip with Mr. Dubs family.  This isn't any beach trip. It's a family beach trip on steroids.  There are typically 20-25 people all in one ocean front house.  It is so much fun!  To help organize the food situation, each family takes a night to prepare dinner.  You cook what you want.  This can mean your order in pizza or actually cook. Now for a mom who typically cooks for 4 people each night, that can be a little intimidating.  I refuse to order pizza because...well...I know I can do better than that. I wanted something basic enough that most everyone would eat it, yummy enough to have a wow factor, and easy to multiply. Did I mention I was cooking for 25??

After much searching and contemplating, I decided on Chicken Pot Pie, but I needed to find a good recipe. I didn't want canned cream soup, short cut chicken pot pie.  As I said, I needed a little bit of a wow factor.  During my search, I stumbled upon Ina Gartens Chicken Pot Pie. How could I